Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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