it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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