I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
