does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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