"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
