im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
