Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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