it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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