hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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