You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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