So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
