I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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