But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
