so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How does one acquire holy water?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
