I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
