I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
