so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
