Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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