From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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