I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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