i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she woke up with a sticky ear
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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