I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
