So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
