He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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