im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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