I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize