From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
