this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
