It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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