I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
