Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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