Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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