Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
