I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
