I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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