now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
