Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
