she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
