Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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