after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
