If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
