My balls are so social today.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize