I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
