No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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