I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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