i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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