i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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