he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
