butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
