just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
