Your tits are I can't wait for
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize