so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Oh god it's open bar.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
