We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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