Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
