you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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