Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
