there was a trapeze. enough said
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize