They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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