She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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