Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
