I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
